R.I.P. New Years Resolution

Yesterday I decided not to write anything, so today the Daily Notes Project died peacefully in its sleep at 12:00 a.m. PST. A DNR order was in effect, and no resuscitation was attempted. The remains of the Daily Notes Project will be cremated on Friday, and sprinkled over the interweb. No services will be held.

Hello?

I don’t think there’s a more helpless feeling than being at the wrong end of a phone line when someone you love is in danger. The first time it happened to me was about ten years ago when my wife was working in Tacoma (about an hour from home.) That day at about noon I answered a call from her cell phone only to hear a man say “Hello, is this Randy? Your wife asked me to call you. She’s just been hit by a car.”  As the ambulance was speeding toward her, and I was speeding toward the hospital she took the phone to try to talk, but instead passed out, dropping the phone in the street. The drive to town probably took forty minutes, but it felt like forever. Although badly banged up and left with a shoulder that still aches to this day, she's lucky she wasn’t more seriously injured.

The second time it happened was this morning when my youngest son called to ask how to fix an electric hot water heater. He lives in an apartment in Tacoma, not too far from where my wife was hit by the car. “Turn off the breaker, then take off the top panel and look for a red reset button” I told him. A couple minutes later he pressed the red button, and it clicked just like it should to reset. I waited on the phone as he went to turn the breaker back on. The next thing I heard was my son yelling “it’s on fire!” Then I heard a lot of commotion, but he didn’t answer as I tried to tell him to turn the breaker off and ask if the fire was inside the water heater panel, or if it was spreading. My first thought was to run to the truck like I did when I got the call about my wife, which in this case was stupid. Then I went to get the landline to call 911, but I kept asking if he was okay. Still there was no answer; just more commotion and his neighbor yelling “what’s happening” as he yelled back “there’s a fire.” Seriously, I’m getting too old for this kind of stress.

Finally he picked up the phone, probably twenty seconds later (but again it felt like forever) and told me the fire was out. He had run down to the end of the building, broken open the fire extinguisher case, and returned to put out the fire. I’m proud of the kid, but we agreed… no more electrical troubleshooting over the phone.

Follow up note: The new hot water heater will be installed on Monday, and they’re going to check out that suspect breaker also. The repairman assured my son that he did everything right, and there’s no way it should have been able to catch fire. Plus the apartment’s going to give him a free carpet cleaning. Apparently he emptied the extinguisher, and made a hell of a mess. Again I feel lucky, and it really makes me think about, and feel empathy for those people who have had to listen to real tragedies from the wrong end of a phone line.

A New S.N.L. Script for Gilda Radner (Do they have dark humor in heaven?)

(Warning: Not politically correct)

Chevy Chase: Weekend Update recognizes its obligation to present responsible opposing viewpoints to our editorials. Here to reply to a recent editorial, is Emily Litella.

Emily Litella: I'm here tonight to speak out against using the youth in Asia to kill off sick people in America. If someone is so sick they want to die, I think we should let a doctor help them do it peacefully. PETA wouldn’t stand for youth in Asia killing sick kittens, so why would we let them kill sick people? I think using youth in Asia would be cruel. Have you ever watched one of those Kung Fu movies? Can you imagine putting your grandmother in a room with one of those ninja’s? Why would anyone want to make this legal? Ninja’s killing helpless sick people just so they can save money on morphine or something. Imagine if you got so sick they couldn’t save you. You wouldn’t care about the morphine bill. I mean…

Chevy Chase: [ interrupting ] Miss Litella?

Emily Litella: Yes?

Chevy Chase: I'm sorry. The editorial was about allowing states to legalize euthanasia. That means allowing people to die with the assistance of Dr. prescribed drugs... not by allowing ninja’s to beat them to death.

Emily Litella: Oh. I'm sorry... Never mind.

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They say that if you leave enough monkeys with typewriters in a room for a long enough period of time that eventually one of them will write a quality piece of literature (or something to that effect.) Well on behalf of the Daily Notes Project... “We need more monkeys in here!”

Strange Awakening

Continued from 2-3-2011:

Nashville, Tennessee, Monday, August 21, 2017, 12:32 p.m.: Air Force officials report a series of sonic booms just north of the city. Minutes later 911 operators are flooded with calls of meteorites, flying objects, roaring noises, and explosions. By 12:45 p.m. news sources begin broadcasting reports of a possible attack on the city. Witnesses describe a streak of white, or line of white flying objects shooting through the top of the Signature Tower at 505 Church Street, tearing gaping holes in the upper floors of the building before ascending into the southern sky.
 
As tens, perhaps hundreds of thousands of people in the Southern United States stand in their yards, and outside their workplaces to witness today’s  much anticipated total solar eclipse, breaking news reports begin coming out of Nashville: “Streak tears off top four stories of Signature Tower - Two confirmed dead - 86 missing and presumed dead.” Later reports would claim: “Top of building cleanly removed – Top floors entirely obliterated - Debris trail stretches five miles - No sign of the 86 missing.”

Waiting for Something to Develope

I’m sitting in the truck with a new appreciation for digital cameras, as I wait for my film to be developed. Yes, that’s right “film.” Oh, waiting isn’t the bad part. I’ve got a good book here about Thomas Jefferson (American Sphinx) and my trusty notepad, and if all else fails there’s a crossword puzzle book in the back. The photo lady did say my pictures would be ready by noon though, and it’s pushing 12:30, but like I said it’s not the wait… it’s the cost that’s making me regret pulling the old Cannon underwater camera out of the closet to document my Honduran snorkel adventure. To develop five rolls of Advantex film, and put the pics on a CD they want over $65.00! Jeeze, I could have bought a cheap digital camera for that and put it in a ziplock baggie. Probably would have gotten better photos too. If I remember right very few of those underwater photos ever turn out anyways. Maybe I should just make a run for it, and leave the pictures behind.

Wholly ¢®@℗!

If you read yesterday’s note you might think I’m a little sour on this whole “rich getting richer – poor getting poorer” thing. Well maybe you’re right. Maybe these fat cats aren’t doing as well as I think. I mean before I go shootin’ my mouth off here about tens of millions of dollars a year I should probably get my facts straight. Okay let’s open up the old web browser and Google up some facts: h-e-d-g-e—f-u-n-d—m-a-n-a-g-e-r—s-a-l-e-r-y …click ENTER …Wholly crap! Wholly crap! …$5 billion?

Okay, now I’m more sour than before. I’m going over to the Notebook to write this one down. If you want to follow along just click on "The Notebook of R.J. Moody" link up there to your right and find the Feburary 28th entry to see who made $5 billion dollars last year. Wholly crap!

Cold brings out the complaining in me

Yes, the U.S. of A. is screwed again just like it was in the 1890’s and the 1930’s, and just like before it was the filthy rich who caused it, and it’s the middle class (or what’s left of it) who are expected to fix it. While Wall Street hedge fund managers, bankers and corporate CEO's (making tens of millions of dollars a year) shop the world for cheap labor and lucrative investments, American workers are told they need to tighten their belts ‘cause the country can no longer afford to support their highfalutin middle class lifestyles.

And the winner is...

The winner of this month’s Bob's Guess Where I am Game™, and recipient of the prestigious honorary title "Sharpest Crayon in the Box" is Lightly for correctly guessing the Isle of "Jonesville Point" - Roatan, Honduras (on Feb 21^st.) Congratulations Lightly!

It’s too hot… I take that back!

Today it was well above 80° as I carried the luggage across the tarmac to the airplane and I was moaning that it was too hot. Tonight it was below 20° as I carried the luggage across the snow and into the house. Looks like I won’t be complaining about the heat for awhile.

My Favorites

After nearly two weeks of eating and drinking and thoroughly enjoying the Village of West End, Roatan I’m ready to announce the winners of this vacation’s coveted Moody Awards:

The envelopes please…

Best food: (a tie) The Rotisserie and The Noodle Shack

Best dessert: The Rotisserie

Best spot for a drink: Sundowner’s

Best spot for a cheap drink: Happy Hour

Best cheap breakfast: Coconut Café

Best iced mocha: The Wet Spot

Best street view deck dining: Cannibal Café

Best Ocean view deck dining: Half Moon Bay Restaurant

Best boat cruise destination: Hole in the Wall Restaurant

Best taxi destination: Coxen Hole waterfront

Best snorkeling: Half Moon Bay (along the left shore inside and outside the reef)

 

If you're looking for a laid back Caribbean destination West End, Roatan might be just what you're looking for. It's a little jewel among giants. I can only compare it to Cancun, The Bahamas, and Jamaica, but it stacks up well and I hope to return some day!

Cruzin' the City

We left the village of West End today to spend an afternoon in the big city of Coxen Hole. Coxen Hole (Roatan’s urban center) is where the cruise ships dock several times each week to offload thousands of tourists into the island economy. The city’s inhabitants open up their shops and restaurants for the duration of each ship’s visit, turning the waterfront into a giant flea market. The locals are eager to welcome you and ready to bargain, and while of course they want your money, they're also quite polite and quick to accept “no thank you” as your final answer. As pleasant as it is during the day however, I'm told that it isn’t the safest place to be at night… so if you ever take a cruise there, be sure to get back to your ship on time.

Hanging out with Squid

What a great snorkeling morning I had today. While swimming through a sunlit channel in the coral reef I came upon a squid. It was about a foot and a half long with big black eyes and multicolored lines running down its translucent body. When I swam over to take its picture it darted off (the coolest fish always seem to do that, while the drab ones just float there begging you to waste your film on them) so I chased it around for a bit. Soon I was circling it, or it was circling me… it was hard to tell. When I stopped, it stopped, and we just floated there looking at each other. I took several photos as it posed in all the classic squid poses; first stretched straight, then sort of hunched up ready to dart off again, then all flared out like you’d expect to see in the centerfold of Squid Magazine. Thinking I had a pretty good variety of squid photos I stopped taking pictures, but it kept on posing… looking at me with that big black eye. Then more posing, and again with the eye. I had to explain to it that I was almost out of film, and needed to save the last few exposures just in case something fantastic swam up. The squid was insulted. It was awkward, but we just floated there together for a few minutes watching the other fish.

Then a beautiful black fish with glowing neon blue dots and a bright yellow tail swam by, so I bid the squid adieu, and followed fishius fantasticus out into the open water. Remember what I said about the coolest fish? I may have a blurred picture of a yellow tail to show you later, but you’re probably gonna have to trust me on the neon blue dots. Later after snorkeling around the reef for awhile I decided it was time to return to shore, but before going back in I returned to the spot where I left the squid. It was still there, and this time it didn’t dart off. We hung out for as bit, communicating as best we could “eye to eye” and then I pointed the camera at it, and took my last photo. It seemed pleased, and so was I as I swam back to shore… hoping that some of the photos turn out.

Half Moon Bay

I hope to begin the next few mornings just like today… snorkeling Half Moon Bay. The varieties of corals, creatures, and fish are amazing. The slower you swim, and the closer you look, the more you see. I think I could drift around all day among these colorful inhabitants of the reef, and be as happy as a sea turtle.” After seeing this, I think the life of clam is way over rated.  

The Hole in the Wall (and a giveaway clue to our location)

A boat ride to the other end of the island today took us to The Hole in the Wall. “The Hole in the Wall” is a very odd, and highly recommended local restaurant that can only be reached by boat. The restaurant I’m told was established this way: Years ago (from the looks of it I’d guess decades ago) the owner (a very salty looking old gentleman) sailed his catamaran into this island inlet where it sank near a rock cliff. Instead of repairing the boat, or even abandoning the boat and leaving, he built a two story stone house right against the cliff. The cliff itself is the back wall of the house. Pretty smart huh? He only had to build three walls. Then he built a large wood dock over the top of the sunken boat, and on the dock he built a restaurant called The Hole in the Wall.

Other than an array of cold drinks, The Hole in the Wall offers only one thing on its menu… Everything. The Everything cost 475 limps, or about $25 U.S. dollars, and consists of all the steak, crab, lobster tails, mashed potatoes, baked beans, coleslaw, bread, and pineapple cake you can eat, plus all the local hand rolled cigars you can smoke (and they let you stuff a few in your pockets for later.)  Because I was so stuffed full of all the other good food, I had to stop after just six lobster tails, and almost fell asleep on the boat ride back. But now I’m back “home” sitting out on the deck with a rum and coke, and I’ve got my second wind, so if you’ll excuse me I’ve got a hand rolled Honduran cigar to smoke.

No Socks!

For a good time in a third world country, don’t look like a tourist! Tourists tend to pay higher prices here, and are more frequent targets of beggars and criminals. To be treated like a local, or at least a savvy repeat visitor there are a few simple things you need to remember:

1. Don’t wear caps, or t-shirts printed with the names of other tourist destinations.
2. Leave the jewelry at home.
3. Pack light (only tourists carry big suitcases and garment bags.)
4. Casual, casual, casual. Don’t be afraid to look a little disheveled.
5. Dump the fat wallet and use local currency
6. Don’t get sunburned.
7. No Socks! (flip flops, sandals, or Crocks)

But it is okay to bring a lot’s of wet wipes, tissues, hand sanitizer, bug spray etc. Just keep ‘em all hidden in the bottom of that worn out bag you brought. So get your vaccinations, bring your camera and have fun.

Modern Miniaturism

No TV and no radio, but thanks to this little iPod dock we have a volume of music here that just thirty years ago would have required a dozen or more burros, llamas, or strong backed Sherpas to carry behind us as we travel the island.

Paradise Home Dreams

Today was the day we hiked up the hill to check on the condition of our friend’s condo. It was a dreaded but necessary part of the trip. First a little background: The couple we’re traveling with, who introduced us to this little bit of paradise purchased a condo on the island a few years ago, but because the builder left the building unfinished and in legal limbo, our good friends and several other people are now left holding the bag. The “bag” being a beautiful four story condo building atop a vista overlooking the Caribbean Sea that stands only three stories tall. Even though the third story which they own was finished, and completely furnished they cannot occupy it and had to leave it last year in hopes that a locked door so far from home would be respected in their absence.

They were welcomed back to their paradise home dreams by a kicked in entry door. Inside, all the appliances were gone, all the furniture was gone, various hardware and most of the window coverings were also taken. Only the light fixtures remained. They walked away disappointed, but not surprised, and plan to do their best to enjoy the rest of the trip, and fight this battle another day. I don't think I could go through what they went through today and remain as cool as they have. Let's just hope that what goes around comes around... and soon.

Bob’s Guess Where I Am Game™

That’s right, I haven’t mentioned where I am yet. I figured I’d leave my little audience hanging for awhile. Not little individually, except for maybe Pam ;) who is probably the biggest reader of this nutty little blog. Does shorter in height mean longer in attention span?  …or as Einstein would say: A/h = H/a ² …If you said Ah ha! You get it. And remember Pam, if you were a Starbuck’s drink you’d be called a “tall” size. Okay enough coconut rum induced tall/small self amusement …on with the clue:

We’ve been to Jamaica and the Bahamas’ but we’ve never been here. Yesterday I heard it said of the island, “It’s a sunny place for shady people.”

Rain in Paradise

Did I mention that it rained yesterday here on the island? Well I found out today from the locals that it rained alot, even by tropical island standards. When we ventured out this morning we found that the town's main road had been washed out in three places, and the power was knocked out. The town celebrity was an unlucky gentleman who runs a dive shop. You’ll find a photo of his SUV over on the daily photo page today. He parked where you see his vehicle in the photo, except a few feet higher, and went out to try to recover his boat which had been swamped in the storm. While he was away, rain water rushing down the hills took out the road right out from under his parking place. Luckily Mr. Unlucky did manage to recover his boat, and eventually his Jeep, and the rains have since subsided. The sun is out now, and it’s beginning to look like the paradise that we were promised.